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How Toys Help

Great sex is not just about positions and technique. Sometimes, a little more spice is needed to let really great sex to happen!

Here’s an idea to add some excitement to the bedroom: use sex toys. There are a few reasons to try them, although sex toys may seem too bizarre at first. For instance, research conducted in the US suggests that most women have used them, and that they experience much more satisfaction than those that don't[1] . Also, many women (and some men) can't experience orgasm from just sex alone[2].

Yet the possibility of an intense climax may make things more interesting - the combination of toys and bodily touch can raise excitement to whole new heights. You can also explore your own body in different and sensual ways. Read on to know how sex toys could enhance your time in the bedroom, and how open discussion of your fantasies could bring you closer as a couple.

Types of Sex Toys

There are many different types of sex toys in the market. However, they are often surreptitiously sold and customers are too coy to ask for the different varieties outright. Buying sex toys can seem daunting at first, but a little experience will reveal what you like. Find out if you want to introduce your partner to sex toys as well – they might not want to at all, so it is better to discuss it first! But if your partner is open to using them, having a chat about the subject can help the two of you come up with some fun ideas.

  • There are many different kinds of toys which can be used on all areas of the body, but particularly designed for the clitoris, vagina, penis or anus. Some may work for you, and some won’t – that’s okay.
  • They come in an array of sizes, materials, and designs, aimed to stimulate different areas in different ways.
  • Some are vibrators (with different levels of strength), others have bumps and ridges to hit all the right spots and some have a mixture of both.
  • Some sex toys are specifically designed to be used for people having sex together, such as vibrating rings and dildos.
  • Handcuffs and silk ties can be used on a partner, but remember to take turns!
  • Using lube or pleasure gels with sex toys can help increase the pleasure and heighten sensation.

It could take you some time to experiment to find the right one for you, or for your partner, but pushing a few barriers is a great way to finding out what the best sex is for you and your partner.

Introducing a Toy

Once you know how to make them work for you, you might want to think about how they can work for you and your partner together. Finding new ways to play with each other is a huge turn on, and a great way of spicing up even the longest sexual relationships. However, communicating that to a partner may require a few discussions to open them up to the idea.

For even the most open minded, a sex toy can be somewhat taboo. You or your partner may feel insecure about adding anything more to what’s already a passionate bedroom. First, it’s important not to bring something in without talking about it first. And second, it’s important to respect boundaries, even if your tastes are very different. Although some people just keep theirs for when they are by themselves, if you want to explore together then experimentation is just as much fun. You’ll soon discover that an open discussion of desires and fantasies can add another level to your sex life.

 

[1]. Debby Herbenick, et al Prevalence and Characteristics of Vibrator Use by Women in the United States: Results from a Nationally Representative Study. The Journal of Sexual Medicine 6(7):1857–1866.
[2]. Shere Hite. The Hite Report: On Female Sexuality. Pandora: 1976