Sexy Tips to Explore Your Kinks | Durex
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Sexy Tips to Explore Your Kinks

Liven up your love life with our tips for exploring sex together

The word ‘kink’ has slightly negative connotations in our minds, though it need not be like this. A kink in the bedroom can be a bit overwhelming for both partners, but here’s the good news – you can reach a middle ground between the extremely basic missionary position to the really wild dominatrix-with-whips scenario. And you will love exploring this middle ground, because your sex life is about to get really exciting!

When exploring a kink and the full extent of its potential, it’s best to find something that you will both like and enjoy, and also be comfortable going with. Comfort is important, because exploring a kink requires both partners to push some boundaries.

  1. Talk it through

    You cannot just spring a surprise on your partner in bed. Start by talking to them about what you want to try and get an idea of whether it is likely to interest them. Get a sense of which aspect of the act will turn them on, and ask about their innermost fantasies. Always, always ask what they hate or really dislike, so that you don’t end up doing it.

    The discussion must be a detailed one, though there is no need to be dramatic or overtly serious about it. You can sit and talk about it when you’re both in a good, relaxed mood.

    As sexual partners, you can agree to talk about whatever you feel like discussing without passing judgement on each other. Do remember that you are just talking at this stage, and that talking does not necessarily translate into doing. If you are both agreed on something, it has to be out in the open beforehand.

  1. Get a safe word

    Even after discussing what you’re going to do, many things can still not go as per plan. When this happens, you must have a safe word to stop the act at that precise moment. ‘No’ might not be a great word when you’re doing something kinky, so look for another safe word.

    Look for a word that’s random and not even in context to what you’re doing, and decide on this word beforehand. Make sure that both of you know what this word signifies and what you should do if either of you says it.

    Both of you should be confident about using the safe word without judgement, when things don’t go in the anticipated direction.

    Another good idea is to agree on the method of contraception before you actually get down to sex.

  1. All tied up

    Once you’re ready to get going, you will start with what you’ve decided beforehand. Most couples start with being tied up when it comes to kinky sex.
    If you’re unsure about where to start, you could begin by restraining your partner with your hands. If you want to go more slowly, you could both take turns holding on to the headboard. When you’re doing this, you’re not allowed to use your hands at all.

    After you are past this stage, you might wish to take things to the next level. It is time to bring out the silk scarves and ties. These work great on those who like the feeling of being passive during kinky sex.

    Being a passive partner in kinky sex is not about surrender – if you know your partner well and trust them completely, you can be turned on by the feeling that they can do whatever they want to you while you’re tied up and not able to do anything about it!
  1. Role play

    This can be a great gateway if you want to explore your inner kink, because pretending to be someone else lets you transform into someone else who does not have the same worries and inhibitions as you do. This helps you enjoy sex a lot more.


    Keep it simple when you begin – the most basic thing to do is to wear seriously sexy lingerie to feel like a different person. When you feel sexy, you can have more confidence during sex.

    The next stage is to move on to the actual role play. Try the roles of teacher/student or doctor/nurse or nurse/patient (with or without clothes on) to get the action revved up to the next level.

    If you want to take things a step further, you can arrange to meet each other separately at a public place and acting like strangers who chat for a while and then leave together. This will get your pulses racing and you will be really excited about what is to follow next (but remember to use contraception).

  1. Sex toys

    Sex toys are a great way to add a little kink to your bedroom antics. The best part is, you can enjoy using sex toys together.

    Before you venture into sex toy territory, you should use a pleasure gel (Durex makes gels that warm, tingle, warm and even increase the chances of a female orgasm), and then trying a textured condom as contraception, for starters.

    If you want to try a vibrator or massager, there’s a huge variety of different types and sizes available.

    Whether you should use sex toys, pleasure gels or textured condoms depends on how you and your partner feel about them. You can have fun shopping for them together, and heighten your anticipation about using them later!